I’d really like someone to buy me one of these:
A worthless piece of cotton cut into the shape of a t-shirt
oh, also, yesterday’s Wilpon Award goes to Frank Fransisco.
Today there were many Mets deserving of the much heralded “worst player in the universe award” but unfortunately the Mets won, making them a very sloppy 8-6.
It’s hard not to give Santana the 4th Wilpon Award of the year, because he was just horrible. Bay’s error was a drop of diarrhea in the sea of shit that was the Mets’ 4th loss, and therefore:
Johan Santana is happy to be back in New York
KUDOS TO YOU JOHAN! You win the award for the Wilponiest Ace in the league!
Terry Collins tries to give his life meaning
It would be unfair to give the Wilpon Award for the Mets’ second loss to Johan Santana, due to his yeoman’s effort; and despite having awarded non-players before it seems unreasonable to award the honors to Larry Vanover, since he doesn’t really qualify as a Wilpon hire (although you never know, he might be on some undocumented payroll for the team); so it whose left?
Terry Collins is a strong candidate for getting thrown out arguing a call on behalf of Jason Bay. Of course Jason Bay is a strong candidate for, well, being Jason Bay. Ramon Ramirez certainly didn’t have his strongest stuff, and while his past performances have been intrinsic in getting the Mets the 4 wins prior to this game, The Wilpon Award does not reflect on one’s history, only the here and now! With no players self-selecting with horrible errors or miscues it really comes down to these three: Ramirez, Bay, and Collins. A relief pitcher who struggled with 3 walks, an anemic hitter who complained about bad umpiring but couldn’t hit the ball even if it was a strike, or a manager who went to bat for a hitter who was upset about a bad call despite being unable to hit the ball if it had been a strike. Well, Ramirez is spared by the combined idiocy of Bay and Collins, and so we can solve the problem by answering the age old question, “Whose the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?”
TERRY COLLINS CONGRATULATIONS! You have won the year’s second Wilpon Award. You are granted the honor not only for having been thrown out of a game defending Jason Bay’s honor (cough), but for continuing to put the impotent canadian in your line-up!
Terry Collin wins the second Wilpon Award