I know that I have been remiss in updating the Wilpon Award this Mets season. Just like the team, I started off strong, petered out, and then entirely stopped paying attention. With the regular season over I, the owners, pledge to not let that happen again next year (If the Wilpons can, why can’t I?).
Obviously Jose Reyes won the season’s Wilpon Award when he walked away from the 162nd game of the season in the first inning, however a post-season award is worth mentioning. While I pledged to award a Wilpon for every Met game, I never pledged that I wouldn’t award a Wilpon for non-met games, or just shit that happens, that aren’t Met games. Case in point.
Well today marks an important week since ESPN the magazine is bringing back it’s 3rd annual ‘Body Issue.’ In it professional athletes pose nude, conveniently blocking their goals, in an effort to help subscription sales of the magazine. Although, why anyone would want a subscription to any magazine that considers “professional poker” a sport is beyond me.
Past issues have shown how some of America’s favorite athlete’s body issues might have affected their on court issues. For instance the image of Amar’e Staudemire (pictured left) might indicate, from his complete lack of a penis, that he might not be physically capable of blocking the box against Dwight Howard – who couldn’t even have the lower portion of his body in frame.
Truth be told, the whole idea of looking at athletes naked is kind of a false-start. In concept it seems great, but in practice it’s kind of frightening. Similar to bodybuilders, there is just something grotesque about their over developed, roid ridden physiques. So, in honor of the Wilpon Award we give this day’s award to the guy who deserves it the most, Jose Reyes. I hope you’re happy wherever you land.