Category Archives: Fransisco Rodriguez

Hu won?

The following is a transcript of the text messages sent between my brother and I during last night’s game. A few edits were made for the sake of the children.

Me: I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep this up all year.

Brother: Keep what up?

Me: This blog. Watching them is killing me.

Brother: You can just read the boxscore and pretend.

Me: That would be disingenuous.

Who do you give it to right now?

Brother: I don’t know. Reyes?

Jose, just doing nothing.

Me: Why? He hasn’t don’t anything.

Brother: Exactly.

Brother: Oh, Thole just took a huge lead.

Me: Yup. Thole certainly exemplifies failure after that.

Me: Neise is nice.

Brother: He did the little things.

Me: I would so much rather have to watch Neise than Pelfrey.

It’s about pitching in jams.

And not having sex with men.

Brother: Do you like Emaus because his name is like anus?

Me: Because he’s ‘hard nosed.’

Me: Beltran just did something awful.

Beltran is sad

Brother: Yeah.

If a big rally happens he wins.

Me: Are you watching or listening?

I mean “it is for the players who drop the ball.”

Brother: Listening

Me: I can’t believe the Mets could actually win a game.

I mean, they won’t, but they could.

Brother: He touched it? I thought he just didn’t get there. They’ll blow it late. I knew they couldn’t pitch. I didn’t know they also couldn’t hit.

Me: It was in his glove. It fell out.

Brother: That’s it then. Unless someone tops him.

Me: Well, if he hits a home run. I mean, Thole made a strong argument for himself. Beltran, was on the run, in foul ground, near the wall.

Whose this schlub?

Oh Parnell.

Brother: Look… someone will blow this game for the mets…. that man will probably win the award.

Me: Right. Probably parnell. He has too much of last year tattooed on his baseball reference page.

Beltran just called off Pagan on flyout to right-center field. Whose the real center-fielder?

Brother: I remember once Cerrone wrote that Bobby Parnell had a “cool greaser” name.




Me: Hu’s on third.

Brother: Hu cares?

Hu joins the culture of failure

Me: Hu farted.

Brother: Hu done it.

Me: Hu’s on first.

Brother: Hu keeps farting

Me: Hu raped the marlins.

Brother: Hu scored.

Me: Hu ate the cookies.

Brother: Hu are you?

Me: Hu sucked a [expletive]

I can’t believe the Mets are going to be 1-1.

I thought they might be 1-0, but I never considered the possibility of 1-1. I even thought they could go 0-162.

Do you think the mets could find a way to lose more than 162 games?

I do.

Brother: They may not win this won.

Me: Life finds a way.

I guess K-rod could win it with ease. A home run wins him the award. They’re bleeding us slow.


Fransisco Rodriguez wins the second Wilpon Award

Good thing he beats up his family members.

Did the grounder to Murphy seem like something he should have gotten?

Me: Yes. Ike would have had it.

Seriously? Is it over?

Brother: Remember the tv show Joanie loves chachi?