Category Archives: Fransisco Rodriguez

Hu won?

The following is a transcript of the text messages sent between my brother and I during last night’s game. A few edits were made for the sake of the children.

Me: I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep this up all year.

Brother: Keep what up?

Me: This blog. Watching them is killing me.

Brother: You can just read the boxscore and pretend.

Me: That would be disingenuous.

Who do you give it to right now?

Brother: I don’t know. Reyes?

Jose, just doing nothing.

Me: Why? He hasn’t don’t anything.

Brother: Exactly.

Brother: Oh, Thole just took a huge lead.

Me: Yup. Thole certainly exemplifies failure after that.

Me: Neise is nice.

Brother: He did the little things.

Me: I would so much rather have to watch Neise than Pelfrey.

It’s about pitching in jams.

And not having sex with men.

Brother: Do you like Emaus because his name is like anus?

Me: Because he’s ‘hard nosed.’

Me: Beltran just did something awful.

Beltran is sad

Brother: Yeah.

If a big rally happens he wins.

Me: Are you watching or listening?

I mean “it is for the players who drop the ball.”

Brother: Listening

Me: I can’t believe the Mets could actually win a game.

I mean, they won’t, but they could.

Brother: He touched it? I thought he just didn’t get there. They’ll blow it late. I knew they couldn’t pitch. I didn’t know they also couldn’t hit.

Me: It was in his glove. It fell out.

Brother: That’s it then. Unless someone tops him.

Me: Well, if he hits a home run. I mean, Thole made a strong argument for himself. Beltran, was on the run, in foul ground, near the wall.

Whose this schlub?

Oh Parnell.

Brother: Look… someone will blow this game for the mets…. that man will probably win the award.

Me: Right. Probably parnell. He has too much of last year tattooed on his baseball reference page.

Beltran just called off Pagan on flyout to right-center field. Whose the real center-fielder?

Brother: I remember once Cerrone wrote that Bobby Parnell had a “cool greaser” name.

What

A

[expletive.]

Me: Hu’s on third.

Brother: Hu cares?

Hu joins the culture of failure

Me: Hu farted.

Brother: Hu done it.

Me: Hu’s on first.

Brother: Hu keeps farting

Me: Hu raped the marlins.

Brother: Hu scored.

Me: Hu ate the cookies.

Brother: Hu are you?

Me: Hu sucked a [expletive]

I can’t believe the Mets are going to be 1-1.

I thought they might be 1-0, but I never considered the possibility of 1-1. I even thought they could go 0-162.

Do you think the mets could find a way to lose more than 162 games?

I do.

Brother: They may not win this won.

Me: Life finds a way.

I guess K-rod could win it with ease. A home run wins him the award. They’re bleeding us slow.

Brother: WE HAVE A WINNER!

Fransisco Rodriguez wins the second Wilpon Award

Good thing he beats up his family members.

Did the grounder to Murphy seem like something he should have gotten?

Me: Yes. Ike would have had it.

Seriously? Is it over?

Brother: Remember the tv show Joanie loves chachi?

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