Category Archives: Bobby Parnell

Another Day another Wilpon Award.

It was over in the 3rd inning.  I knew, you knew, and the city of New York knew.

Willie Harris...

To be perfectly honest, we all knew before the season even began, but we’ve been holing our breath. Waiting, hoping that the honeymoon could continue, but alas it could not. On Monday night the New York Mets played exactly like we had been expecting them to all year. They fulfilled our wildest nightmares of precisely what this team would be. In all honestly, there is no surprise they were as bad as they were, the only surprise is that it took them so long to perform as such.

It all began in the third inning. Jonathan Herrera hit a fly ball that should have been an easy out. Instead when Willie Harris arrived at the location the ball would drop he shielded his eyes, reminiscent of Matthew Block from Mets of the Rustic Canyon Little League Baseball season of 1996. As if the ball was the sun itself falling into the earth, his knees buckled and his arms covered his upper body. The ball, just as it did so often to poor Matthew Block in the ’96 season, fell right behind him. The mistake was ruled a double, and then a run scored, and then the beginning of the end.

The shame didn’t end there. The Mets’ anemia at the plate continued, but more

Pelfrey started the fire.

importantly, so did Pelfrey’s sub par year. Looking like he was giving birth on the mound through most of the game, Pelfrey managed to not ruin his outing until the 6th. Pelfrey’s line culminated with 5.1 innings pitched, 6 hits, 4 walks, 4 runs, of which only 3 of were earned improving his ERA to a respectable 10.80. I don’t know what is left to say about Mike Pelfrey. He sucks? He’s garbage? Oliver Perez who?

Luckily for Big Pelf, he wasn’t the biggest embarrassment on the field.  One thought it wouldn’t have taken much for him to win the 3rd Wilpon Award in as many starts, but instead the competition was tough.  In the past Pelfrey was so bad no one else would have even had gotten a shot at the Wilpon, but perhaps out of fear, or out of desire he managed to escape total failure.  Of course, as Dr. Ian Malcolm — a reference I only googled to make sure I got the name right — so astutley pointed out, “Life finds a way.” And on Monday not only did Pelfrey find a way to give another Met a chance at the much coveted award, but other Mets found a way to out-do him.

Bobby Parnell you poor, pitiful, sack of trash. In the top of the 8th, in a tie game, after a wild pitch that put a runner on third, Bobby Parnell earned himself the World’s most deserved Wilpon Award.  In what was ruled a “fielder’s choice,” Parnell, instead of choosing to throw the ball to the catcher,  chose to throw the ball to Keith Hernandez in the media box.  Luckily for the Mets, baseball does not have the same rules as cricket, the runners were only allowed to score once on this particular play. While Willie Harris’ missed fly ball may have signified the end of the game, this errant throw seemed to signify the end of the season, or at least the beginning to what is sure to be a long one.

Who?

A double-what?

Before closing it needs to be stated the Terry Collins is a moron. At first things were looking good, it almost seemed as if he knew what he was doing. But interview after interview it shows that he’s in just a little bit over his head. He has the perpetual look of a deer in the headlights. Add to it that he seems unknowing of how to execute a double switch, and you have a full blown failure. In the late innings of Sunday Night’s game, the boys on SNY tried to save him embarrassment, by claiming that Collins intended to have Frankie Rodriguez only pitch to one batter, but the truth is the truth. Beltran should have come in and hit 9th, and Rodriguez should have been pitching from the 6th spot in the order. Collins is still bereft of a Wilpon Award, but you can rest easy as he is sure to get one soon…